World Cup 2006 Germany
9 June-9 July 2006
Sour Grapes
Anticipation of the World Cup in Germany started the moment the venue
was announced years beforehand but the real excitement started once the
tickets sales began sometime in 2005. We applied along with Planty for
the "TFT" follow-my-team tickets for England and tried to edge our bets
by not choosing the cheapest category. This master plan didn't work as
come the day of the allocation we got the dreaded "your application was
unsuccessful". This more or less set the tone for the whole ticketing
experience and I suspect many people were left feeling that the tickets
were beyond reach. Naturally we applied via the later "rounds" for
whatever was on offer trying to edge our way towards the elusive
England tickets but the only success was 2 tickets for the first round
Serbia-Ivory Coast tie in Munich. We paid 100 euros per ticket and sat
in the gods with the roof for a hat. Pretty poor really for ardent
footy fans and I would tell Franz Beckenbauer that if only he climbed
down from his ivory helicopter for five minutes to touch base with
planet Earth.
The second avenue for tickets via Englandfans rested on the allocation
provided to each national association. When this was announced at 8% of
stadium capacity you could hear the english moans from Munich. This
paltry amount had to include all subsequent allocations to be made by
the FA and the phrase "Football Family" became a byword for
mistrust with a hint of corruption. The "Family" is a
pseudonym
for staff, cronies, hangers-on, ex-players, current players, FA
affiliates and amounted to thousands of tickets being diverted away
from ordinary fans. By the time it came to the balloting process the
number of tickets available to Englandfans members was down to the 3000
mark, the sort of figure we would expect for an away game in Estonia
not a World Cup tournie in a wealthy country which had refurbished all
stadia by adding capacity. Sponsers were not part of the Family, they
got a huge allocation directly from FIFA/Beckenbauer. Although
Beckenbauer would be quick to indicate that over 3 million tickets were
available in total this means little to the ordinary fan who has only a
minute chance of going to games that interest HIM.
There is only one tried and tested method to deal with ticketing when
the event attracts such huge interest. We do it in England for rugby
and cricket and this is via membership of fan clubs: a) fans are
naturally less inclined to sell the tickets for profit (Beckenbauer
appeared to have no concept of this), b) the general public has only
half-a-mind to go to the World Cup and don't really give a toss whether
they get a ticket or not, but try anyway thereby reducing the chance
for the ardent fans c) the national associations already have ticketing
procedures in place and know how to reach the fans d) the FA already
have a policy of filtering out hoolies from travelling to away games
whereby Beckenbauer's open shop approach allowed all the scum to come
out from under their rocks. If FIFA is a federation of football
associations then it should use the associations as cogs in
the
process and not go it completely alone.
The Beckenbauer/Blatter axis favoured an open arm policy reaching out
to the four corners of planet football in the vain hope to bring more
members into the fold. Its a policy Blatter will no doubt sorely need
for the South Africa World Cup in 2010 where fans will be less inclined
to travel thousands of miles to a third rate footballing nation but
Germany didn't need to hype it up, everyone was gunna go anyways. Was
politics the ultimate ringleader here, desperately trying to correct
Germany's image abroad once and for all? I wouldn't be surprised.
After the World Cup finished, Sepp Blatter FIFA supremo declared his
disappointment with the ticketing process and that he would not
sanction
the same approach again. Vindication methinks.
Murphy's Law
Planty and Martina had announced their engagement and the date for the
wedding needed to be set and subsequently Planty canvassed my opinion
for a
date during the World Cup (sound of alarm bells ringing). It was about
November 2005 at this point and although all the qualifiers for the
final were known the seeding and grouping had not been done. It was
clear that Germany would be "A1" in the draw and so I pointed out all
the significant scenarios featuring England on a weekend during June
2006. The most obvious was that if England were to be drawn in group B
they would end up playing group A in the second round on the weekend of
the 24th-25th. For extra excitement, if England came second in their
group they would likely play Germany, in MUNICH!!! Although only
hypothetical it was worth considering whether this weekend should be
reserved for footy. Murphy's Law struck big time as me and Bev were
allocated tickets via Englandfans for exactly this tie (England second
round game wherever to be played) and Planty announced the wedding for
the 24th. So torn between a rock and a hard place we went to the footy
while the gang did Slovakia. Would like to have done both, but
thats life.
The Long Arm of the Law
The ticketing process had been a long, drawn out affair but now having
been allocated the princely sum of 4 tickets (Serbia-Ivory Coast x2
plus England 2nd round x2) we settled in for the long wait to 10th
June, England's opening game against minnows Paraguay. "Not so
fast Sunny Jim" said the nice policeman. During the opening few days of
Euro2004 in Portugal I had been arrested by portuguese police in Lisbon
and thereby was banned from the World Cup and my membership suspended
from Englandfans! Or at least so read the letter that
arrived one
innocuous morning. It informed me of my right to appeal which I
immediately undertook by faxing off colour copies of my passport and
Englandfans membership. The letter had said nothing about the details
of the "alleged" arrest and so instead of trying to proove my
whereabouts "on the night of the crime" I assumed it was a case of
mistaken identity and requested that "they" (the FA?, UK Police?,
dunno) double check their records ("off to the tower with him!").
An anxious few days passed and finally I spotted that somebody had
tried to call me at work. I called them back and had a luvvly chat with
some nice bloke called Doug who mused over the attractions
of Bayern's new Alliance Arena and how he hoped to visit it
during
the World Cup! A luvverly 20 minutes was had and he informed me that it
had all been a mistake and that he would "personally see to the
database records being erased". Apparently, another Gary Robert Jones
born on the same day as me, in the same year, is on the UK police
records as having been arrested in Lisbon. The only difference being
that he was born in Plymouth. This discrepancy was in Doug's words not
enough to distinguish me from this other fella and without any further
investigation I was assumed to be him. Well Doug my old son, if you
think thats reasonable then the UK is definately a police state.
Dougie-Boy used to work at Scotland Yard and having retired had taken
up the post of chief security officer with the FA. Go back to your
slippers Doug and leave police work to the.......police. Parting
platitude: Doug assured me he would personally contact his mates at
Scotland Yard and erase my association with this crime on THEIR
records. I've never committed as much as a misdemeanour in my entire
life but apparently I have a police record with Scotland Yard through
mistaken identity.
Dougie backed up this conversation with a
letter confirming that all records of this incident had been
erased from Englandfans records. So hopefully I won't be red-flagged
each
and every time I apply for future tickets. BIG BROTHER: its not just
a crappy TV programme.
Nice in Nice
Having committed to a trip to Provence with the gang at the start of
June we found ourselves in Nice for the opening game against Paraguay.
We scouted out a suitable outdoor bar and settled in for the match.
England got off to a good start, dominating the first half looking
pretty sharp and at half time we were comfortable. In my wardrobe of
pet theories lurks the "they can't score" mantra which I tag onto any
team that may huff and puff but not blow the house down. To my mind
Paraguay were gunna huff and the only player I knew of causing
a
puff was Nelson Valdez then of Werder Bremen. Bremen probably the
classiest outfit in the Bundesliga at the time, league champions
2004/05, capable of winning 6-0 one week but followed by a 4-0 defeat
the next could score goals and Valdez knows where the onion bag is. On
the other hand, Roque Santa Cruz, Bayern's young star is a muppet.
Never suited to the european game Bayern persist with him against the
odds but apparently he's revered back in Asuncion. But Roque Santa
Cruz versus JT and the Rock of Rio! Are you mad? Sure enough he mounted
to nothing, Paraguay huffed and puffed after they went 1-0 down, they
flashed a couple of shots passed Robbo's post but as always with these
second tier teams they keep the ball well on the half way line but
theres no penetration in the box and they don't score against the top
teams. It all proved to be abit inevitable and I was never worried. And
oh, Valdez was crap too.
Biergarten ist Offen
In Germany Beckenbauer is lauded as an emperor. The sun definately
shines out of his proverbial and he must have a direct line to the gods
who control the weather. If scientists wish to claim an official start
date for global warming I would suggest 9th June 2006. Nobody could
deny it was hot during the World Cup, the weather in June is usually
changeable and mild with usually some sunny periods but in 2006 the sun
shon and shon and shon. We all melted and bathed in the glorious
sunshine and schlepped around in thongs. This meant the beer gardens
were the number one place to be and the Paulaner at Nockherberg became
our standard meeting place. When anyone says how great the World Cup in
Germany was remind them that the weather had a lot to do with it.
Everyones happy when the sun shines and the party spirit sored in
Germany with all the outdoor events bursting to the seams and beer
running out everywhere. All the Fan Parks were overflowing and in
Berlin the main drag down from the Reichstag was full with half a
million people. Germany bathed in the limelight and their team
steamrollered over expectations by going all the way to the
semi-finals. Germany loved it and EVERYONE was involved. Millions of
little german flags flew from cars and houses and I bombed around in
the car with the St.George streaming from the window. Ace. Germany was
mighty sad when it was all over but they didn't forget to congratulate
themselves for a job well done. Thank God it didn't rain.
Nuremberg Trials
Partly due to the glorious weather, partly due to fun experiences
during Euro2004 we decided more or less the night before to head up to
Nuremberg for the day for England's second group game against Trinidad
& Tobago. Planty and a load of other mates were also intending
to
go and we all met up in the main square in Nuremberg at midday. It was
another hugely hot day with temperatures in the 30s. Nuremberg laid on
a great party. The town square is a large market place and this had
been converted to a beer garden with food stalls and entertainment. It
was full of english with a few T&T supporters thrown in. Planty
did
the dirty deed and handed over the going rate for a ticket. There were
others available but we decided to keep our powder dry for later
rounds. For me the emphasis was on having a day out. We knew from
Portugal just how many fans would gather to party and hang on the vibe
and we did our bit. A few beers later we headed off to the Fan Park
located near the stadium and waved Planty off as he made his way into
the ground.
Vicky, her new fella, me, Bev, Kidneys and Brian took in the match via
the huge video screen along with about 20,000 others. It was free. We
sneaked our beer in under the fence and and proceded to watch England
make heavy weather against a minnow team so low in world ranking
they're in danger of "falling off the coupon". Their players play
mostly in the scottish leagues for teams such as Falkirk. They have
Shaky Hislop in goal, no great talent but experienced and play their
only world star in Dwight Yorke out of position. They are blessed by
the mighty Saints striker Kenwyne Jones...only kidding, who must have
spent the whole match kicking himself in disbelief over his good
fortune. The highlights show yet again how profligate England are
against weaker opposition as allinsundry proceded to mishit, scuff and
fall over. Lampard was the main culprit. A fiver for every missed
chance would keep me in beer for years. T&T had some chances
too.
An acrobatic clearance off the line by JT spared England's blushes and
by half-time we were shaking our heads. With 75 minutes gone I was now
worried. We weren't going to lose but we weren't going to win either.
Rooney came on to appear for the first time since his injury but was
utterly ineffective.
Then joy. Relief personified. Whatever anyone, especially Liverpool
fans might say, Peter Crouch was statistically the most
effective striker available at that time. Scoring in more or less all
of his games since coming to the England fold he should just be played
all the time until his legs fall off. And suddenly there he was,
rising, slightly with assistance of a defenders back, serenely,
salmonesque, the ball goal-bound. No longer doing his robo dance
celebration he took the plaudits and the kind decision of the ref. He's
been blown up a million times in his career for using support when
heading
but he got away with it this time producing a clean bullet header to
beat the keeper. Phew, we were gunna win.
Just to make sure, with what the german commentator labelled a
Sonntagsschuss (cheeky blighter), Stevie G put the lame horse out of
its misery by smacking a 30 yard screamer into the far corner in the
last minute. To even the balance out, you have to hand it to Liverpool
fans, they've got a football genius in Stevie. Tagged by the
Englandfans forum as "Smoke & Mirrors" he truly is
sublime. He
actually PLAYS sublimely in that he uses effortless, light than air
actions to pull off stunning, pile driving results. Whereas Lampard is
a grinder and Rooney a bruiser, Stevie G is smooth as silk. I bet he
could pass the KungFu challenge without tearing the rice paper. England
without Steven Gerrard is unthinkable.
A crazy bus ride back to town saw us having another jar with the lads
in the beer garden and eventually Planty turned up flush with stories
of VIP treatment and chats with Nancy Dell'Olio. He's a charmer and no
doubt Nancy momentarily considered dumping boring Sven for larger than
life Planty but apparently he wasn't dressed right for the VIP lounge
and had to make a timely exit. No doubt the full story's on his blog
somewhere. He's a card and you just wonder what he's got against doing
the ordinary. He cadged a lift off us back to M while the others
including his sister got the last train home arriving about 3 in the
morning. Jamie and some others missed it and crashed in Nuremberg.
Sweet.
We're Not Goin'ome, We're Not Goin'ome...
A scorchingly hot day hovering at 40
degC graced our day trip to Stuttgart for the second round match
against world beaters Ecuador...er another Paraguay who had done better
in the group phase by beating Poland and Costa Rica. To digress, anyone
who asked me of my opinion to the outcome of this game got the same
unequivocal answer: England would win coz we always do. The defeat to
Argentina in the second round of France '98 notwithstanding, England
usually despatch the second round opposition with some aplomb. Whereas
minor teams are already over-achieving by reaching this stage, bigger
teams with designs on the trophy step up the ante as they
strain their collective nostrels for a sniff of the Jules Rimet.
Recalling the demolitions of Paraguay in Mexico '86 and Denmark in
Japan/Korea 2002, I was quietly confident that England would overcome
another second-rate latin american team only too happy to have got this
far. England had more-or-less a first 11 to choose from (Carragher for
Neville-G) and opted for Rooney up front on his own (having lost Owen
to a ligament tear against Sweden) but Wayne's frustration was
indicative of England's spluttering attempts to score. Ecuador had a
huge chance early doors, following a mistimed clearance from JT, only a
heroic last ditch block by Ashley Cole saw England saved from an uphill
task on such a energy sapping boiling hot day. Ashley arrived like an
Exocet from somewhere on the left to block the strikers shot
which deflected onto the bar. It all happened in a split second and I
think its Ashley's athleticism and guile which for me gives him the nod
over the more gentlemanly Wayne Bridge. Unsurprisingly Lampard
was once again profligate, scuffing and daisy-cutting every
opportunity. It was a slow and turgid game but England were on the
whole the dominant side with Ecuador moving the ball around but never
mounting a direct strike on goal.
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